this book is full of spiders by david wong

rating >>>

amusement: 90%
eloquence: 85%
ingenuity: 75%
potential: 90%
semblance: 90%
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aggregate: 86%


synopsis >>>

david wong and his friend john return in the second novel in an ongoing series by jason pargin (pseudonym: david wong). david and john hunt paranormal entities in a city the author refers to as 'undisclosed'. in this novel, david is attacked by parasitic extradimensional spiders that intend to claim all of humanity as their 'zombified' hosts. he recruits john to help him stop this new threat but, in a series of mishaps, they wind up making the situation worse. the town of 'undisclosed' becomes the breeding ground for 'zombies'. when the military gets involved, john, david, molly (david's dog), and amy (david's girlfriend) become separated. they must find a way to get back to each other while trying to find a solution for the 'zombie' outbreak.


breakdown >>>

amusement:

(the character) david's narrative is bleak but oftentimes reflects the wonderful observational humor of wong (the author). john, while a bit more serious than the jokester he plays in the first entry of the series ('john dies at the end'), still makes the reader laugh out loud. overall, the characters are a delight and make this story truly unique.

eloquence:

it is infrequent, but the author sometimes seems to get too involved in the descriptions of events and objects. there are a few instances of gratuitous racism that the reader may find offensive.

ingenuity:

'zombie' stories have become very commonplace, thus, the concept of the novel is somewhat trite. however, the method the author uses to approach the subject makes up for its uninspired theme. by packaging philosophy on the subject of zombies with his brand of humor makes this somewhat original.

potential:

though the first novel ('john dies at the end') has been optioned to become a major motion picture (consequently drawing more attention and becoming a bit more permanent), that does not necessarily carry over to this entry in the series. there is a deluge of material about zombies being released and this book may be lost in the flood, despite wong's unique approach. only time will tell if this novel will become a classic zombie story.

semblance:

this edition of the book (hardcover, thomas dunne books) is very attractive. the format makes reading it very simple. there are very few spelling and grammatical errors.

aggregate:

i very much enjoyed this book. i've been a fan of wong's for a long time and have been anxiously awaiting this book. now i'm anxiously awaiting the next book! it seems like i had a lot of negative things to say, but i dislike the zombie trend that has taken over horror... and everything else! it was good to get some of that famous david wong insight on the subject, though, and for that i recommend reading this one. i think anyone who reads this will learn something about themselves and the world around them.


vocabulary >>>

salient, adj
having a quality that thrusts itself into attention
synonym : prominent


quotation >>>

"fear is the most contagious disease."

see also >>>

john dies at the end by david wong

david wong on cracked.com


available here >>>

purchase from amazon

the art of war by sunzi

rating:

99%

synopsis:

the author describes his method of leading an army to victory in thirteen chapters, each describing a different aspect of war. His tactics revolve around executing a well calculated attack (or retreating when this is not possible). he outlines and explains the differing variables in his calculation: level of self-discipline, effects of the weather, effects of the terrain, effects of and access to fire, knowledge of his troops, knowledge of enemy troops, the ability to coordinate troops, and the ability to remain flexible in planning. the author noticeably warns against encounters altogether.

positive:

as testament to the quality of this work, these tactics have been adopted by many military bodies across the world. his philosophy displays great wisdom and experience in the field of warfare. the advice presented can be used outside of war as well; some passages reveal keen observations about life in general.

negative:

some verses seem unnecessarily cryptic - perhaps they simply are not written in explicit detail. however, to the reader unfamiliar to battlefields, parts may be unclear.

all in all:

if the rating wasn’t clear enough: i really loved this book. i can’t believe i wasn’t (or, can’t remember being) taught this in school! it’s as much a book on philosophy as it is on military strategy; you should check it out if that’s up your alley. i’m sure this will not be the only time i read this book - in fact, i will read it until my tablet dies and the file corrodes.

vocabulary:

qui vive, n
condition of heightened watchfulness or preparation for action; synonym : alert

quotation:

“to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.”

see also: the prince by niccolo machiavelli

available here: free ebook from gutenberg

civil disobedience and other essays by henry david thoreau

rating:

94%

synopsis:

this collection of five essays (civil disobedience, slavery in massachusetts, a plea for captain john brown, walking, and life without principle) covers more than one topic. the first three detail the author shares his opinions of slavery and hopes for its destruction. the fourth essay is an in-depth look at the insight he has gained from walking. the fifth essay finds the author questioning the focus of our thoughts and efforts as a society.

positive:

the author’s inquisitive nature challenges the reader to think beyond the boundaries of our current societal restrictions. he tends to use unique and often entertaining imagery to fully illustrate his arguments. the author’s voice remains consistently dauntless through each essay. while the collection is dated, some of the content has remained relevant to this day - at times it is even more so.

negative:

the author does not structure his arguments in any way; this sometimes makes the prose difficult to follow. more specifically, walking seems to lose focus in the middle. the author’s unyielding technique is still quite potent.

all in all:

not everything in this collection is relevant anymore. at times, it only serves as a good reminder of tribulations in the past. however, when it is relevant to the current time (and it frequently is - more often than i expected), it is deeply so. that being said, he is quite a drag. don’t expect to feel any warm and fuzzies is all i’m saying. thoreau is kind of a jerk - but if you’re into that sort of thing, i recommend this wholeheartedly.

vocabulary:

tintamar, n
a hideous or confused noise; synonym: racket

quotation:

“justice is sweet and musical; injustice is harsh and discordant.”

see also: latin

available here: free ebooks from gutenberg

little green men by christopher buckley

rating:

67%

synopsis:

this is the story of a resolute right-wing television news commentator who is ‘abducted by aliens’ twice. as one might expect, he responds to the first abduction with tight-lipped denial, but responds to the second abduction with unbridled acceptance. the protagonist then becomes willing to reduce his celebrity life to rubble to find the truth about alien abductions. This leads into part 2, where the author explores the bureaucratic red flags that are raised when a renowned media figure tries to spread ‘fantastic’ ideas to the public and how the protagonist deals with them in his quest for honest answers.

positive:

i feel that this author did well covering the intricacies of the subject, in that, there are only a few inconsistencies in the plot. the main character had some likable personality traits hidden beneath his abrasive exterior, and the rest of the cast supplemented the story well. parts of the book are undeniably well-written; enough to keep the reader engaged throughout. The author had plenty of fun with the subject matter, which is important for both the reader and the author alike.

negative:

the punchlines of most of the jokes become predictable and stale by part 2. never did I feel that the author allowed himself to follow the train of thought that aliens could actually exist, and the protagonist reflected it; the main character’s stance seemed veiled by superficiality. overall, I felt that the plot was unsatisfying. most of the characters lacked spontaneity (and most other components of the "human element") and seemed more like placeholders to keep the plot in motion than personalities to which the reader could identify.

all in all:

aside from some minor twists, this book is exactly what I thought it would be. i’m really not sure why I continued reading it. mostly, I wanted to know what would happen if someone like bill o’reilly was ‘raped by aliens’, i guess. now that i’ve said that out loud, i think i might be a twisted son of a bitch.

vocabulary:

mammon, n
the personification of wealth and avarice as an evil spirit; synonym: avarice

quotation:

“doesn’t anyone have imagination enough not to believe in something?”

see also: indian home rule by mahatma gandhi

available here: purchase from amazon

the girl with the dragon tattoo by stieg larsson

rating:

87%

synopsis:

the editor of an investigative business journal finds himself charged with libel and he feels he needs to make himself scarce in order for his publication to survive. seeing the editor’s predicament, an aging business figurehead commissions him to write a memoir while simultaneously investigating a long forgotten missing person case from the 1960s that has haunted him since then. the protagonist sets out to research the wealthy patriarch’s family and finds himself entranced by the family’s history. while working diligently on the memoir, the protagonist unexpectedly makes progress on the missing person case. Deciding that he could use help investigating this lead, he hires a computer-savvy researcher to work alongside him on this unfolding project. the duo overstay their welcome and they become the targets of an unknown antagonist who must stop them before they learn too much.

positive:

this piece displays the authors many strong suits; character, setting, and plot development, as well as pacing. these separate strengths come together to forge a piece that is both fun to read and worth reading. the mystery challenges the reader’s memory and attention to detail in a delightful way. the reader is also presented with ethical questions, both timeless (should we pass judgement on others based on appearance/attitude/etc.?) and pressing in today’s society (what is privacy and what role does it play in the information age?).

negative:

faults in the piece were mostly subtle (a character who could have been more involved (Morell) was forgotten midway through the story; the writer’s voice was highly professional, with little to make it unique; and there are times when the protagonist seems like a mindless do-good-er), but one fault was glaring: the writer goes into depth describing the specifications of technological devices in the story. this is not terrible, but the impermanent nature of technology now keeps the story from becoming ‘timeless’. not only that, but these descriptions come across as product placement.

all in all:

while the story itself is intriguing, the author’s execution did little to impress me; his precise narration did not drone so much as to put me to sleep, but it would have if the subject matter were any drier. in the end, i walked away feeling satisfied, but without a new favorite book or author. (i am aware that my biggest problems with this piece may be have been details lost in translation, but i won’t be reading the swedish version any time soon, so my opinion will likely remain unchanged until then (i.e., never).)

vocabulary:

dogsbody, n
a person who does menial work; synonym: servant

quotation:

“‘he’s pulling the load of an ox and walking on eggshells.’”

see also: the apocrypha

available here: purchase from amazon

the satanic bible by anton szandor lavey

rating:

94%

synopsis:

this prose is broken into four segments, each containing a fundamental aspect of satanism. the first segment outlines the laws of satanism, many of which pertain to self-preservation and self-gratification. the second segment consists of a series of short essays that deal with a variety of topics: the foundation of satanism, the examination and resulting deconstruction of religion, the definition of ‘psychic vampirism’, the importance of ceremony and ritual, etc. the third segment explores the correlations between magic and science; more specifically, it links dogma with mental health. The final segment provides an outline of satanic practices for those who are interested in its form of spirituality.

positive:

the author provides a step-by-step guide to following a religious practice for the reader who feels the need to find spiritual guidance outside the realm of popular belief. even if the reader does not feel inclined to follow all or any of the author’s advice, there are beneficial philosophical tidbits to be found. true to the prose’s namesake, everything about the book is misleading; through the use of dark humor and vivid, violent imagery, the author presents the reader with a strangely uplifting train of thought.

negative:

though it was the author’s intended purpose, the ominous nature of the prose (and underlying religious beliefs) tends to keep it hidden from those who may find it the most beneficial. there are times when the author’s extensive attempts at desecrating the christian religion seem obsessive, even desperate. (however, it is addressed within the prose that these two negative aspects are absolutely necessary for the religion of satanism.) lastly, half of the final segment of the book is written in a dead language; this is only problematic in that its purpose is to be read out loud, but there is no pronunciation key provided.

all in all:

this is one of my favorite books. in fact, this is not the first time I have read it, nor will it be the last. i have found many great things to take away from anton lavey’s philosophy, and i believe i will find more. those who have read it, or are willing to, have my respect. i believe it is so important that I may look into founding a separate gideon sect that will distribute free versions of it to everyone until everyone is sick of hearing about it. i believe it is so important that it is something i will share with my children at a young age. if that frightens you... well, perhaps it should.

vocabulary:

unctuous, adj
unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; synonym: oily

quotation:

"be led into temptation and take that which tempts, whenever you can!"

see also: the satanic mass by anton szandor lavey

available here: purchase from amazon

diary by chuck palahniuk

rating:

97%

synopsis:

misty marie wilmot, once an aspiring artist, now lives on a resort island plagued by apathetic visitors working as a waitress. after an accident leaves her husband in a coma, she is left to raise her daughter mostly on her own - her only help is her mother-in-law, whose shady behavior leaves misty constantly questioning the old woman's motives. misty begins receiving calls from her husband's former customers, who all claim that he has done severe (and disturbing) damage to their homes while hired to do carpentry work. when she investigates these instances, she finds secrets about her own identity and purpose in life that lead her to realize that she is not in control of herself. she must learn as much as she can about the resort island and its wealthy inhabitants if she wants to take control of her own destiny.

positive:

the author pulls out all stops to present a unique, powerful, and timeless story. his form is at its most graceful and unforgiving in this piece - just as he finds a vein that the reader can comfortably settle into, he introduces a new branch that changes the entire dynamic of the story. nearly every facet of the book is fascinating; nearly every chapter leaves the reader both satisfied having uncovered another clue dealing with misty's fate and mesmerized at the new mysteries the clue itself uncovers.

negative:

this novel describes itself as being misty's diary, but this notion is counteracted by the author writing the prose in third-person. (i think the reasoning behind this may be explained somewhere in the book, but the explanation doesn't validate the author's actions.)

all in all:

this book eventually became one of my favorite books of all time, though the first couple of chapters did little to win me over. with some time, though, my opinion shifted dramatically. chuck's vision of the supernatural is one of my favorites and this is a shining example. his style is hypnotic and haunting, simple yet profound; he is one of the greatest modern writers. if you haven't read this book, do it. seriously.

vocabulary:

anchoress, n
female religious hermit; synonym: recluse

quotation:

"leonardo's mona lisa is just a thousand thousand smears of paint. michelangelo's david is just a million hits with a hammer. we're all of us a million bits put together the right way."

see also: the google art project

available here: purchase from amazon

the stupidest angel by christopher moore

rating:

72%

synopsis:

theophilus crowe and the rest of the lovable miscreants that make up the population of pine cove attempt to plan a community christmas party. trouble intervenes every step of the way in the form of dale pearson, a frumpy tycoon that has a history of violence; molly, theophilus' emotionally and mentally unstable wife; and azrael, a naive angel who wants to perform a christmas miracle but doesn't quite know how to handle himself. the protagonists find themselves involved in a murder mystery, a love triangle, and a brush with the supernatural that could easily make for a disastrous holiday.

positive:

this novel combines elements of a christmas tale and a halloween ghost story to form a highly compelling read. the imaginative characters and unpredictable plot make this book a delightful fantasy for readers of most ages.

negative:

it's difficult to pinpoint what demographic the author intended as an audience. this story could have easily been aimed for children, but rampant adult humor keeps it out of reach for that age bracket. the author does little to impress the reader in terms of technique.

all in all:

this is a great light read: i finished it in just a couple of days (fast for me). there isn't much in the way of challenge, but that doesn't mean that it should be overlooked if you're in the mood for a non-traditional holiday story. i guess what i'm trying to say is if i were trapped on a deserted island with only a copy of this book, i'd probably read it again.

available here: purchase from amazon

the most dangerous game by richard connell

rating: 

90%

synopsis:

during an overseas hunting trip, sanger rainsford falls off of a yacht after he hears gunshots and must swim to a nearby island. he soon finds the island is inhabited by a hunter named general zaroff and his servant ivan. the general has become bored with hunting wildlife (however exotic) and is now fond of hunting humans, who provide him a greater challenge. when the general decides to hunt sanger, he underestimates his fellow hunter and is provided a greater challenge than he expected.

positive:

the story is crafted well. its rich imagery is hoisted to a higher level by the simplicity of the author's technique. while its length made it easy to read in a single sitting, so did the consistent pace and constant thrills.

negative:

though it was likely the perfect length, the writer leaves the reader wanting more! there may be good things to be found in the rest of connell's catalog, if this short story is, any indication. also, the way the conflict is resolved may be predictable to some readers.

all in all:

if this story wasn't assigned reading material in your school (i empathize - it wasn't in mine either), i recommend finding a copy to read. i feel like i was deprived of something good by not being exposed to this one! i'm pretty surprised that a film version hasn't been made in eighty years... come on hollywood! you've got a murderer, wild animals, and mind games. it's time for a remake already!

vocabulary:

repast, n
the food served and eaten at one time; synonym: meal

quotation:

"at daybreak rainsford, lying near the swamp, was awakened by a sound that made him know that he had new things to learn about fear."

see also: meditations by marcus aurelius

available here: free ebook from feedbooks